My first real personal post will pay homage to my favorite series on TV, and how I feel like I can jump right into the zombie extras without any makeup right now.
As usual I wake up, make my strawberry-banana milkshake with the Magic Bullet and head to work. And work went like this: Work, e-mail group chat with the most hardcore Oiler fans I know, work, some more work, some more awesome emails. Somewhere in there, I decided to eat my salad. Yes, I made a salad, gotta start this healthy eating thing. My friend Trish used to have a salad every single day, she'd eat it with just vinegar. Didn't look appealing, but she is in great shape. Might have to try that.
Anyways, I have soccer right after work at 7 pm, and then an ice hockey game at 10:30 pm. I know right? FML>SMH>WTF.
There's a little gap so I sleep in my car, hobo-like in a semi crowded parking lot. There's a mom across from me talking on her phone but I don't care. Rip off the shoes, lean the seat back and pass out...for like 5 mins before a horde of kids start laughing as they walk to the soccer center. Stupid runts. I look over and they're probably 6 year olds in their soccer uniforms, half tempted to roll down my window and scream some profanities. Tell them that Beiber is really a boy, or that their parents are Santa Clause. Crush all their dreams. Meh, I'm too tired.
I can't fall asleep so I saunter to the soccer center, maybe catch a game of our youngest upcoming stars. I fully realize how much soccer has grown in Canada since I was a kid. The stands are jam packed with parents and fans of all religions. Look over and notice a tiny 6 to7 year old girl in her winter boots kicking the ball against the wall with whom I presume is her brother. The ball is as big as she is...almost. A random guy who's also watching them comments that she's going to be a star one day, and he wasn't joking. Check this, I'm not even exaggerating, I wanted to take a video (thought better of it for legal reasons!) she does a step over and unleashes a top foot power kick. Seriously? This girl has better handles than some grown men I know....she's literally 2 foot nothing in pink winter boots, a fluffy jacket a little too big and Hello Kitty toque with the protruding ears. She looks over at us and smiles, then does a crossover side foot and scores. Team Canada, scout this girl right now.
My soccer team is in a new division and it's been ultra competitive, but we've posted a win and draw in the first 2 games. As we step onto the field, I notice the other team is entirely made up of asians. And because I'm half chinese, I know they're hardcore mainlanders, Mandarin. Definitely Fob's (Fresh Off the Boat). Last time I seen so many Fob's in one place was in '99, my buddy Chai and AC were playing ball at Stadium, a guy shoved Chai, I jumped in, it turned into huge pushing match that WWE would be proud of. I didn't care for Fob's since then, so this was going to be interesting. Every Fob had a different haircut and hair color. I didn't know red came in so many shades. It was as if they all decided no one could look the same as the other. I guess when you have a population of 3+ billion you have to try and be unique to stand out.
Our team jumps out to a quick 3 goal lead on some weak plays by their defence and fortuitous bounces. I expected more from them to be honest. Usually these guys are quick little mofo's but we straight up shut them down. As the game wore on, they started to complain more and dive on 50/50 balls, they must have cried foul on every jook and jive. They couldn't compete with us, and were severely outclassed to a tune of 5-0. The score should have been at least 8-0 if we could finish. Joy. I sat in the dressing room thinking of excuses not to go to Hockey later. By this time it was about 8:45 pm. I usually stay for post game chatter, drinks, but I definitely have to peace it. Bill already get's up and leaves because he's asked to drive Tuskar home. Hilarious. Maybe I can fake an injury...naw, I'm not that kinda guy. As my buddy Dustin would say, FM, FML.
Oilers win!! 3-1 with an Empty net goal. This day is going great. Unfortunately I hear Khabby stole another one for us, which is good, but not where we need to be if we want to contend for the cup.
I'm driving home and I call up Damien, hoping he'll tell me the game was cancelled. Nope. It's still on, and I'm feeling sick just thinking about having to gather enough energy to put on my gear. If you've ever played full gear hockey, you'll know that shit takes some serious effort. A full 20 minutes of suiting up minimum.
It's 10:00 pm, was watching some Storage Wars, where the hell did the time go? I quickly drive to the arena, thankfully it's only 15 minutes away. Get in and hope to god it's cancelled. Wrong. The arena is small, the dressing room probably holds just enough for a pee-wee team, much less a men's team. We manage to squeeze in with some bromance thrown around.
We get on the ice at around 10:30 pm and surprisingly our roster is full. There's no way I can double shift shit at this point. I'm thrown on a line with 2 junior players that had a chance of being drafted in the NHL. Our line dominates. I'm not just talking a little bit domination, probably a disgusting 95% of the time we were in their zone with full puck possession. I find another gear and go balls out cause it's fun. My freaking legs hurt so bad, a nasty buildup of lactic acid. The ice is surprisingly perfect for such a beat up arena. Final score, 8-3. I didn't have a jersey so all my points get added to the "team player" on the score sheet. Not going to lie, I've probably had 5-6 points jacked from my name this year because I don't have an official jersey. I just want the win, but I'm disappointed I should have scored a few. I feel snakebitten like MPS...maybe not that bad, probably Eberle.
I zombie drive into Mcdonalds. I swear I didn't mean to! I've only had 2 bananas, an apple, my shake and the salad all day.
Right now, marks one of the most exhausting days I've ever had...well maybe in the past 5 years post-fatness. As I'm writing this I just downed 2 chicken mcnuggets, half a pop and some of my super-sized fries...and it tastes so good. Freaking tired. So bad I don't even know if this will make sense in the morning.
P out!
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